Headlines

In newspaper headlines, the present simple tenseA grammatical category that is marked by verb inflection. To express when an event or action happens in time or when a state exists, we use tenses. refers to a past eventA general term expressing that somebody or something does something or that something happens. E.g.: An apple fell on Isaac’s head..

WAR CRIMINAL ESCAPES FROM COURTROOM
ZALAEGERSZEG BEATS MANCHESTER UNITED

Historic present

The present simple is used in narratives as historic present.

Summaries of historical events:

1945: the war in Europe comes to an end.

Jokes:

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson go camping. In the morning, as they are lying in their sleeping bags, Holmes says, 'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you deduce.' So Watson says, 'Well, the sky is salmon pink, so we're going to have a clear day. The moon is just setting, so it must be about 5 am. There are no clouds, so it probably won't rain.' Holmes bursts out, 'Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent.'

Plot summaries (real stories, books, films etc.):

So then I walk into this shop and I see this man with a gun in his hand. Everybody's staring at him. I say...
At the end of the story Luke becomes a Jedi and defeats Darth Vader.
I've reached page 324. I wonder what happens now.

In such narratives we use the present simple for events and the present continuousThe aspect expressing duration, formed with be + verb-ing. E.g.: What are you doing? for descriptions.

The difference between past perfect and past perfect continuous
Past time USED TO and WOULD for past habits

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